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Puerto Vallarta Life and Living
Articles
The Plain Truth about Living in
Puerto Vallarta
By Douglas Bower
My wife and I are now beginning
our fourth year as American
expats in Guanajuato, Mexico.
Sometimes it seems only
yesterday that we sold all we
owned in Overland Park, Kansas,
and moved here with just
suitcases, nothing more.
Sometimes it seems like we never
had a beginning but have always
lived here.
I think however, no matter how
long we stay, we will always be
foreigners. No matter how many
of the locals we know, how many
dinners and parties we get
invited to, we will always be
strangers. We will always be the
American Gringos from the
Midwest.
I came to Mexico with no
expectations. I intellectually
knew and understood that
Mexicans, though wonderfully
lovely people, are just as
fallible as I am. And, they most
certainly are. I did not come
expecting paradise. I knew I
would find bugaboos and
problems. Mexico and her people
do not have a Utopia south of
the American Border.
But, I must admit I was hoping
that culturally there would be
some sort of respite in Mexico
from what had originally driven
my wife and I from America.
There had to be something,
somewhere, that could provide
relief from the American
cultural meltdown that so
repulsed us. There just had to
be.
There was.
Mexico did indeed provide a
surprise that still, to this
day, charms us. When we did our
fact-finding trip to Guanajuato
to see if this was the place for
us, what we immediately noticed
was the absence of public rage.
We did not find what is so
common in America whose citizens
think it is socially appropriate
behavior to "cut loose" whenever
the spirit moves them, showing
just how violent and mean they
can be.
(The only public rage you will
see, I am almost afraid to tell
you, is with Americans tourists.
They seemingly have no
compulsion in acting out on the
streets of Guanajuato.)
There are no Mexicans screeching
in grocery stores, couples
fighting in shopping centers,
fistfights on the street,
cursing (and I purposely learned
all the Spanish naughty words
and do not hear them being used
publicly here!), or anything
else that in America causes you
to wonder when the knives and
guns will come out and the blood
will be shed.
That is so refreshing and soul
cleansing that I have once again
learned to be horrified at the
news accounts I read on the
Internet of what happens almost
daily in America. I had become
calloused but now am again
sensitive to those horrors.
Another relief soothing to the
heart is to see how family is
not fractured here. Family,
right down to cousins fourth and
fifth removed, are part and
parcel of the well-being of this
society. Some of them live in
family compounds, generations of
them, and do so in peace, in
harmony, in love and respect. I
envy this greatly.
For the most part, we've been
treated with the greatest degree
of respect. Some have made us
feel like we are their long-lost
American cousins who have
finally come home to where we
belong. We have been invited
into their homes (no small
privilege if you know Mexican
culture) and sometimes into
their lives.
Mexicans, almost without
exception, treat Gringos with
respect. They show far more
respect than we Gringos deserve
considering how we've
historically treated Mexicans
and still do to this day. There
are some, however, that have a
passive-aggressive relationship
with the gringo expat community.
Where this comes from is
anyone's guess. But there are
little, subtle, and almost
unnoticeable things that you
usually don't see as a tourist.
You have to live here and
carefully observe behavior to
see that are a few snakes in
paradise.
One day, while walking home on
one of Guanajuato's rather
narrow and harrowing sidewalks,
a Mexican woman stopped us and
politely lectured us. She said
because we were gringos, we
should walk on the outside part
of the sidewalk, nearest the
street, so the Mexicans could
walk on the inside and not have
to be in danger from the car
traffic.
Those who do express
consternation at the gringos are
polite about it at least. Thank
you very much.
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